samedi 11 septembre 2010

Let my people go! ... to the Masai Mara National Park

We met Moses, our Kenyan tour guide for the Masai Mara (hence the title), on Wednesday night in a small hotel close to the National Museum. He talked quite slowly and seemed pretty chilled about the trip, though he wanted us ready at 8h30 or 9 or 9h15 sharp....he couldn't quite make up his mind - a symptom of the This Is Africa (TIA) relaxed mentality to problem solving.

We met early the next morning, loaded up the bus and waited...and waited...and waited...finally Moses and David (our driver) get us on our way, or so we thought. We stopped at a supermarket to get money and food. He told us "30 minutes", we quickly learned that in Kenyan time that translates to roughly 1h15. We finally all jumped on the truck (again) and drove about 5 minutes when, on the edge of a slum just outside of Nairobi...we broke down. The brochure said this was adventure i.e. hope for the best, but prepare for the worst - we didn't expect it to all happen in the first 2 hours.

With the help of a local mechanic, David opened up the truck and solved the problem in about an hour. We stood around waiting not sure whether to speak to locals, walk around, stand as we had no idea how long it would take. Some took photos of themselves smiling with thumbs up in front of the slums - I only mention it because I'm not sure I feel comfortable about it. It's not a zoo for the poor where we go to see how the other side live; it's unfortunate reality.

Eventually we were on the road. About 2 hours in we turn off the main road and hit our first bump, the road from there are on out was to be bone shaking, fear mongering and organ lifting all the way to the Mara, around it and back. David drove Goliath (the colossal 4x4 truck, not a name that caught on, but I still liked the reference) we were in like a monster truck at the Destruction Derby. I can't count the number of times I dived to hang on to the edge of the seat for fear that we were going to tilt on the wrong end of a 45 degree angle off a bump and roll over. We eventually made it to the camp, having had most of our bones, organs and even atoms rearranged.

The campsite was very nice. The tents were set up under small thatched roofs and had beds with mattresses - a luxury we hadn't expected. The stars at night were incredible. I'd never seen the Milky Away before, in fact, I didn't even know you could see it with the naked eye, but from somewhere such as Masai Mara where there is no light, it's perfectly visible.

The camp was protected by the Masai people. Mostly tall very dark, completely hairless African men, draped with a red tartan like poncho (a different pattern for each family), carrying spears, bows and arrows, knives, etc...were our security. From what you say? The wild. We often heard hyenas not far off - the Masai explained their very distinct sound to us, it became very familiar.

Hyenas are nothing for the Masai though. At age 16, the Masai men, having been trained to not show pain, are circumcised publicly. If they show any pain, the party is over; all the food that has been prepared is wasted and the boy does not start his journey as a Masai warrior. From the age of 16 onwards, they are sent into the wilderness until they kill a lion. They carry the teeth of their kills around their neck. One security guard, Alex had killed three lions (the other two to protect his flock of cows), and as such was deemed the bravest.

The cows are used for more than just meat and the occasional glass of blood and milk.  To buy a wife, it costs 10 cows to be paid to the father of the bride. Women are property. A girl in our group was made an offering, he wanted to contact her dad for details. You can buy as many wives as you can afford in cows. But be warned, you have to provide each with a house made of sticks and cow dung. She will collect food, cook, raise children, clean and even build the house. What do men do, you say? Security and baby making!

They choose to live like this...though some have casio watches and there was rumour that one had an iphone - GPS and wife/cow counter application would probably come in quite handy. They are certainly not to be pitied. They rake in plenty from the tourists: they took $10 each from us, then tried to sell us every bracelet and rug under the sun, as well as, request donations to their school (neatly provided by the Kenyan government). These cats are smart and they know how to use the system.

We did a whole day's worth of safari yesterday....we saw some elephants (I'm now on 4 out of the Big Five: Buffalo, Elephant, Lion, Leopard, Rhino), an ostrich protecting its eggs, wildebeest making their migration back south (they come up north across the Serengeti following the rain to the greener grass in July and August, then head back in September). Many die in the treacherous crossing of the Mara river full of crocodiles and hippos (both of which we saw). There were carcasses everywhere; the vultures and stalks were feasting...though the smell was less than endearing. The image was grotesque, the circle of like perhaps, but it still represents the darker side of it.

We stopped for lunch where cheeky monkeys surrounded us and tried to steal our food. It was amazing to see one monkey check the other for ticks, then to switch roles. The cooperation seemed so alien after they had been so competitive over the scraps we threw their way.

We went for another quick safari this morning and got to see more LIONS! David illegally took Goliath off road, on the grass and got us three metres away from a female with her cub. The lions' sociological organisation is very similar to that of the Masai (though the causation might go the other way as I'm sure lions have been doing this for a while). The females hunt, provide for the cubs, etc...and the males, though glorious in size, are lazy buggers. They sleep, provide a bit of security, but mostly are there for baby making!

I am now back in Nairobi and begin the tour to Victoria Falls tomorrow. We met our tour guide tonight, Ruth; she is ****ing scary. Organised, regimented and keeping us in line, she made the trip sound like Hell on Wheels. Among other patronising statements, she asked who was what malaria medication. She wanted to single out those on Lariam....unfortunately, yours truly was the only one in the group taking Lariam. She warned of possible night terrors, hallucinations, mood swings, depression, all of which should be reported to her. She even warned that if anyone saw "this gentleman" sleep walking, not to wake him up, as it can kill him. Thanks Ruth.

We leave early tomorrow, if I make it through the night. First stop, Arusha...

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